Mediation and Arbitration

The American Arbitration Association (AAA) serves an important role in our society. It assists individuals and corporations to resolve disputes without going to court. It also provides education and training services regarding alternative methods of dispute resolution.

The role of the AAA is to administer cases. It provides a variety of services, including appointing mediators and arbitrators, setting hearing dates, and giving users information about alternative methods to resolve their disputes. According to the AAA website, the organization can help resolve disputes over “employment, intellectual property, consumer, technology, health care, financial services, construction, and international trade conflicts” (www.adr.org).

The American Arbitration Association uses a multi-step process to resolve disputes. The first step is filing the necessary paperwork, and initiating the process. The second step is to choose an arbitrator or mediator. Both parties need to be able to agree to the arbitration, as well as the arbitrator. Next, the arbitrator holds a preliminary hearing where those involved can exchange information and discuss the issues of the case. The arbitrator needs to gather all relevant information. Hearings are then held, where both parties can present their sides. The parties each have the opportunity to present any additional evidence, then the arbitrator must make a decision about the settlement.

Mediation works a little differently, because the mediator can not make the final decision. The participants resolve their own problems, assisted by the mediator. The mediator sets forth rules that the participants must follow, and guides them as they communicate and work together. This can be both a benefit and a drawback, as the involved parties are responsible for their own satisfactory resolution. One benefit of mediation is that both parties should arrive at an acceptable solution, rather than having someone else decide for them. Mediation may also teach the participants how to solve future problems, by setting aside personal feelings and opening up the paths of communication. Mediation is also extremely effective, with an estimated success rate of at least 80% (Cahn & Abigail, 2007, pg. 252).

Hopefully I will never need to use the services that AAA provides. But it might be useful in many different situations. If I had a problem that might end up in court, arbitration would be one way to resolve it without going to court. This solution could save a lot of money in lawyer's fees. It could also save time, because I wouldn't have to spend time in court, consulting with lawyers, or waiting for court dates.

As a tax preparer, I deal with many customers throughout the tax season. We prepare their federal and state income tax returns, and tell them the amount of their additional taxes or refunds. We also sell gold guarantees that insure that the customer will not owe additional tax or have a smaller refund, if we make an error in processing the return. If we make an error, we will cover the additional costs or make up the difference in the refund. Despite the best efforts of both the company and the tax preparers, customers could easily become upset because they didn't feel that their tax returns were properly prepared. Perhaps someone might feel that his return should have been covered by the gold guarantee, but was told otherwise. In this case, the customer might decide to sue the company. In this situation, the company would not want to spend thousands of dollars to hire lawyers and weeks in court. In particular, the company would not want the negative publicity from the lawsuit. Arbitration might be useful in such a situation, so that the company and the customer can reach a satisfactory settlement.

Another case where arbitration might be useful is in intellectual property cases. A publishing company might find itself in one of these if it published a book that someone else claimed had been stolen. Or the publisher might want to sue someone who wrote a book using characters or ideas stolen from one of their authors.

Arbitration and mediation are most useful when two parties have a dispute that doesn't need to be settled in court. Unnecessary lawsuits waste time and money, and may bring unwanted negative publicity. Another advantage of mediation and arbitration is that they can help preserve relationships between the disputing parties.

As previously mentioned, mediation does have drawbacks. One is that the mediator can not make a decision. Rather, the participants must work together to resolve their problems. The problem is one that the participants can not handle by themselves, and yet they must ultimately make their own resolution. Therefore, the mediator needs to be skillful and well trained in order to be able to assist in such a resolution. If both parties are not willing to work together, mediation will not work, and an alternative method, such as arbitration or litigation must be used.

The American Arbitration Association provides a useful and necessary service. Arbitration and mediation are helpful in resolving disputes fairly and satisfactorily. Participants are more satisfied with the results, because they have more control over the outcome. The people involved are also more likely to leave with a stronger, healthier relationship, because they have learned how to communicate with other.

References

Cahn, D., and Abigail, R., (2007). Managing conflict through communication. Boston: Allyn & Bacon.

The Hand That Rocks the Cradle: Position Paper

Stay-at-home-mothers (SAHM's) play an important and irreplaceable role in a child's life. Children who are primarily raised by a parent are generally happier, more secure and more independent than children who are in daycare full-time. They are less likely to have behavior and learning problems, since Mom is at home to teach her children what she wants them to learn. Children benefit more from having a mother at home than from being in a day-care center or being a “latch-key” kid.

Parenting is never easy. Any parent can testify to this. For a mother, the decision to stay home with her children can be a difficult one. Society continuously tells us that in order to have value, a woman needs a career, needs to be bringing in an income, needs to have some fulfillment outside of her husband, her children and her home. Yet many women choose to stay home and raise their children, believing that this is the most important job they can have. A study done in 2005 shows that working women spent an average of 3 hours, 29 minutes per day with their families. Of that time, only 2.5 hours were spent caring for children, while 8.5 hours were spent on paid work (Kaye, 2009). How can we expect to teach our children good values when they spend less time with their parents than they do watching television? Interestingly, the value of an at-home mom's work was estimated at $116,805. It's time we stopped thinking of at-home moms as not contributing to the family.

I was blessed in my childhood to have a mother who stayed home to raise my brothers and me. Childhood and adolescence were not easy for me; I doubt they are for anyone. I found plenty of reasons to be angry with my mother, or to blame her for whatever problems I had. I could do that because I knew that no matter how badly I behaved, she would still love me. I knew she would always love me, and would always be there for me, because she was there, every day, to prove it. She did take a job once, working in a day-care center, to help out with the bills. She and my father quickly realized that the little bit she was making was not enough to help our finances. They further discovered that not having Mom's time and attention caused us to have more behavior problems. We were more aggressive and less cooperative and obedient, even though we were only spending the afternoons with someone else.

No one can love a child like a mother. No matter how carefully parents choose a day-care provider or a nanny, there is a connection between a mother and child that can't be purchased. Children bond with the person who is there with them, kissing their boo-boos, cuddling and playing and listening to their problems. Several years ago, my roommate and best friend was the single mother of a one-year-old. Out of necessity, she had to put Tyler in daycare, so she could work. For several weeks, he would cry whenever she took him home from daycare, because he didn't want to leave. He called her Susan, which was the name of the daycare provider, and called me Sarah, the name of one of his daycare friends. Susan was a wonderful, caring woman who did an excellent job of taking care of Tyler, but he bonded with her instead of his mother, because he spent so much of his waking time away from his own mother. My friend felt horribly guilty at leaving him behind, and heart-broken when he didn't want to be with her.


Parents have a responsibility to teach their children. Children are still growing, and learning new things everyday. They learn values and skills from the people around them. If they spend most of their time with a stranger, they will learn the values of that care-giver. Teaching moments arise throughout the day, without warning and without planning. Sometimes they arrive as casual comments or simple questions. As a nanny, I went for a walk one day with Amber, an eleven-year girl. As we walked up a steep hill near her house, she made a casual comment that she wished someone would come along and give us a ride up the hill. Because I was there to hear that comment, we had a conversation about why you never get into a car with a stranger, and why just knowing that someone lives up the street isn't a good reason to get into his car. I was uncomfortable with the topic, since I wasn't her mother, and I didn't feel it was my place to introduce topics like rape to a child. But I also knew that she needed to know the potential consequences of her actions. Fortunately, when her mother arrived home and I told her we'd had that conversation, she fully supported my decision. There were several other occasions where similar teaching moments arose, about such topics as what to do when a friend shoplifts, or when touching is inappropriate. Many of Amber's friends stayed home alone after school, or with an older sibling who had his/her own concerns. If Amber had been among that number, no one would have been there to discuss these situations and give her answers. By the time her mother arrived home from work, that thought of hers would have been gone and forgotten. Those conversations would never have occurred.

Children need individual attention. Left home alone, or in a daycare center with a dozen other kids, it's difficult for them to receive that focused attention. The troublemakers, the screamers and the most needy get most of the attention from the available adults. Unless children know how to speak up and ask for what they need, it is far too easy to overlook them. But when a child is home with mother, she can make her child the main focus of her attention. She can spend time with him or her playing, talking and teaching. The child will benefit from knowing that he or she is the most important person in Mom's life. Even if there are other children, they will usually not be the same age. So when the baby is down for her nap, an older child may now have some alone time with Mom. This attention from her will increase and reinforce the child's sense of self-worth as well as self-confidence and security.

One of the main arguments for putting a child in daycare is that children need daycare for proper socialization and to learn independence. Tina, a former preschool teacher, suggests that this is not the case. In her experience, the children who came only for a few hours for preschool were more secure and independent than those who were staying all day for daycare. Tina said that the preschool-only children were happy to be there, because they knew that Mom would be back for them soon. It was more like a playdate for them. The children who were there all day were whiny and clingy. In some cases, they even purposely behaved badly enough that the daycare had to call their mothers to come for them. This example suggests that full-time daycare actually teaches young children to be insecure and dependent, and that they need the security of knowing that mom or dad is there most of the time.

A study was done recently to evaluate the effects of parental employment on children's cognitive ability. The results indicate that having the mother work, while the children are in daycare causes results to the children that are “negative and sizeable. Having a mother that works full-time and uses childcare during one year is associated with a reduction in ability test scores of approximately 1.8%” (Bernal, 2008).

Hiring a nanny may be better for the children than a daycare center, but only if the parents are fortunate enough to find a nanny who is caring, knowledgeable about children, and committed to their well-being. Most nannies are young women, many of whom know next to nothing about children. Switching caregivers frequently can damage a child's self-esteem and sense of self-worth, but young adults are not known for their staying power. In many cases, six months in one job is a lot for them. It can be hard on children when they bond with someone, only to lose them a few months later, and have to adjust to a new caregiver. And when children are being watched by someone who is preoccupied with school work, boyfriends, and the next party, they may not be receiving the full benefit of having that one-on-one time with an adult. Another drawback of choosing a nanny over a daycare center is that the nanny is unsupervised. When hiring a nanny, it is extremely important to choose the right one. Even when the nanny is fully committed to her job, it is still a job to her. In her book, Dr. Laura mentioned a letter from a former preschool teacher in a daycare center. This woman said she thought she loved all the kids as though they were her own, until she became a mother herself. Then she realized that as much as she liked the kids she had cared for, she loved her own child so much more, and that no one could ever love her child the way she did (Schlessinger, 2009, p. 107).

Being a full-time homemaker means that a mother has more time to take care of the house, and take care of the children than if she were trying to juggle that with a full-time job. That can equate to less stress, and less hurry. As a result of having a calmer life, the children feel happier and more secure, and the husband is more likely to enjoy coming home after work. There may be less money, but there is more time for fun family activities, like game night or driving to the beach on the weekend. Children will benefit from having stronger relationships with both parents, since there is more time for fun.

Making the decision to give up a career and stay home can be difficult and require sacrifice. Many mothers don't feel they can afford not to work. Obviously, there are families for whom this is true. Sometimes there is no father to provide for the family, or because of circumstances, he is unable to for all their needs. Before making the claim that “I can't afford not to work,” it is important to carefully examine the financial costs and benefits of the second income. Amy Dacyczyn (pronounced decision), author of The Tightwad Gazette, set out to prove that she and her husband could raise a large family without two full-time incomes. One of her newsletters contained an article on how to calculate the value of the second income. She points out that the traditional two-income lifestyle can be inefficient. Once the costs for daycare, transportation, increased taxes, work wardrobes and fast food or quick-to-prepare meals are calculated, that second income may not pay more than a few dollars per hour. Many of the products and services that we pay for can be eliminated or cut down when someone is home to garden, sew, cook meals instead of buying convenience foods, clean the house, tutor the children, etc. (Dacyczyn, 1992, p. 24). As further proof of her theory, the Dacyczyns managed to raise six children and become financially independent, without having a second income. This feat required commitment, sacrifice and creativity, but more than paid them back in family fun and closeness.

Monica Resinger, in a recent article, backed up Amy Dacyczyn's theory. She was a working mother who had to choose between meeting the needs of her boss and her young son. She followed her instincts and chose her son, which led to her decision to quit working and stay home with him. She found that her spending habits were the main reason they couldn't live on her husband's salary. She began to look at what she was really spending her money on, and found ways to cut back on unnecessary items. She says, “I found that nothing was more important to me than being home raising my son” (2000).

Many mothers work because they think they need to. In reality, some of these mothers are working to maintain a certain kind of lifestyle. New cars, name brand clothing, gadgets and toys of all kinds, credit card payments, boats, are where the money actually goes. Does an eleven-year old really need to have a laptop computer, a cell phone, an IPOD, and a digital camera of her own? Does a nine year old boy need to have an X-Box, a PlayStation 2, a Wii, five different hand-held video games systems and more games than he'll ever play? Do they benefit more from having cable television in every room than they do from being able to spend time with their mother? When all is said and done, these things are just that. . . things. Things are nice to have, but no amount of “things” can replace a mother's time, attention and affection.

Another reason women give for needing to work outside the home is that they don't have the patience and tolerance to stay home with their children. Some of them say that their kids would drive them crazy. How would make a child feel, to hear that her mother can't stand to be around her? No one would ever say that to or in front of an adult. Children need to know that they are loved, that they are more important than anybody or anything else. One friend said that she doesn't have the patience her mother did. She prefers to work, but she feels guilty leaving her children, and she thinks she was luckier (with a stay-at-home mom) than her kids are. “Patience is not a virtue that people are born with; it's an ability one develops with practice” (Schlessinger, 2009, p. 139). I have never considered myself a patient person. My mother is a patient woman. After all, she put up with everything my brothers and I could think of, and continued to love us anyway. Even in two years of working as a nanny, and volunteering as a nursery worker at my church, I developed a lot more patience with children than I would have believed possible. Just having the children in the car helped me to keep my temper when dealing with heavy traffic, because I knew they were watching and learning from my example.

Sometimes that second income is necessary. In these cases, a little creativity can help. One friend has a wife and three children. She stayed home with the first two, but decided to go back to work when the third was still young. Thanks to having family nearby and flexible scheduling, they were able to make certain that he always had a family member to care for him.

Another friend raised three children while staying home with each of them. She and her husband run a business, and Kim can do much of the office work from her home office. Once her children were in school, she began cleaning houses, because she can do it during the day when her children are in school. When there was no school, or she had a sick child, she could cancel or reschedule her jobs, because she worked for herself. Her income supplements her husband's, but she has found that putting her main focus on her children is worth the financial sacrifice. Her daughter's best friend comes from a family with similar values, where both parents work outside the home. Because Kim is home, she spends time with both her children, and their friends. Her daughter, Kelly, now in high school, is more connected, more secure, and indulges in less problematic experimentation than her friend Payton. Kim has been there to teach her values to her daughter, to pick her up when she needs a ride home, to advise her in the little problems that crop up in every day life. Payton has loving parents, but they aren't there when she needs help or attention. As a result, she turns to her boyfriend for the affection she's missing, which brings up a whole different set of problems for a sixteen year old girl.

Women feel the need to contribute, to their families and to the world. There have been and continue to be many wonderful women who contribute as teachers, doctors, emergency responders, librarians, etc. Mothers who stay at home to care for their children are frequently made to feel that they are not doing anything worthwhile. Our society values money and a career more than “just” being a mother. What we too often fail to realize is that “the woman is the center of the universe, the very breath of a family” (Schlessinger, 2009, p. 137.)


One friend expressed an opinion that education is wasted on the woman who stays home to raise children. I disagree. Mothers help their children with homework, and teach them about the world in which they live. The more education a woman has, the more she can teach her children. The woman who plays the piano or paints has no need to send her children to someone else to learn these skills. The woman who has taken biology in college is better prepared to explain to her young son the many questions he may ask while playing in the yard or taking a nature walk. Women with more education have a higher self-esteem, and are less likely to stay in an abusive relationship. Children of women with a strong, healthy sense of self-worth will also have a healthy sense of self-worth. Children benefit from having intelligent, well-educated mothers, because most of what a child learns in his or her early years comes from the primary caregiver.

Yes, parenting is hard work. Yes, giving up a career to stay home requires sacrifice, commitment, patience, and a willingness to put children first. But the best argument from staying home with children is the incredible feeling that comes when a small child puts his arms around your neck and says “I love you,” without being prompted. No facts, statistics or studies can measure the pleasure a mother derives from being there with her children, watching and participating in their “firsts”. The first smile, first word, first step, first day of school, first boyfriend, first job only come once. Being a mother is not an imposition, or a degradation. To mothers all over the world, it is a special, unique experience that is worth more than college degrees or promotions. As one mother wrote, “living the simple life to be home raising your babies is priceless. . . for everything else, there is a credit card debit!” (Schlessinger, 2009, p. 171).

References

Bernal, Raquel, (2008, November). The effect of maternal employment and child care on children's cognitive development. International Economic Review, 49(4) 1173. Abstract retrieved August 25, 2009 from ProQuest.

Dacyczyn, A. (1992). The tightwad gazette: Promoting thrift as a viable alternative lifestyle. New York: Villard Books.

Kaye, M., (2009, May). Women's Work. Today's Parent, 26(5), 83-84, 86, 88. Retrieved August 14, 2009, from Research Library. (Document ID: 1699561891).

Resinger, Monica (2000). A decision to stay at home. Mommytips.com. Retrieved September 7, 2009 from http://mommytips.com/article/Parenting/SAHM/ decisiontostayhome.htm.

Schlessinger, L. (2009). In praise of stay-at-home moms. New York: HarperCollins.

Process Description: How to Poach Eggs

Introduction

A poached egg is an egg that has been cooked in a hot liquid, such as water, milk or broth. Eggs that are fried or scrambled are frequently cooked in oil or butter. This process adds additional fat and calories to the egg. Poaching an egg in water adds no additional calories or fat, and is an excellent way to vary the breakfast routine.

To poach an egg, choose a pan that is large enough to hold all the eggs. The pan also should have sides at least 3 inches high. If the pan is not large enough for all the eggs, either use two pans or poach the eggs in batches. It is extremely important that the eggs should not touch each other while cooking. Additional tools needed include a slotted spatula or spoon, small cup for each egg, and a timer.

Familiarity with cooking terms such as “boil” and “simmer” will help. Boiling water has large bubbles that rise to the surface of the water. Simmering water is just below the boiling point.

The Process

In saucepan or skillet, heat 2 to 3 inches of water to boiling over high heat. The water will need to cover the eggs. A tablespoon of vinegar, added to the water, can help the egg whites congeal faster and retain their shape better. Reduce heat until water goes from a boil to a simmer. Break an egg into a measuring cup or saucer. Hold the cup close to the surface of the water, and slip the egg into the water. Repeat for each egg.

Cook for 3 to 5 minutes, or until eggs appear to be done. The egg white should be firm, not runny. Using a slotted spatula or slotted spoon, lift each egg carefully from the water, and let the water drain off. If vinegar was added to the water, you may prefer to rinse the eggs in cold water. Place the eggs on a plate or a slice of toast. If desired, sprinkle salt or pepper on eggs as seasoning (Betty Crocker's, pg 207).

Summary

To poach an egg, simply immerse it gently in simmering water for 3 to 5 minutes, until cooked. Poached eggs are versatile. They can be eaten alone, or as part of a recipe such as Eggs Benedict. Cooled, poached eggs can be added to salads. Poaching eggs is a simple, healthy way to eat this basic food, without adding fat or calories.

References

Betty Crocker's cookbook (28th ed.). (1976). New York: Golden Press.

How to Bottle-feed an Infant

Decision Time

Feeding a baby is not quite the simple task an experienced parent makes it appear. As a new parent, you may find the process a little intimidating. Before your baby arrives, you will want to make a few decisions.

How do you intend to feed the baby? Will you nurse the baby on breast milk? Will you pump your breast milk and feed the baby from a bottle? Will you feed the baby on formula? Or will you use a combination of these methods? You will want to make a choice that best fits your lifestyle.

If you choose to bottle feed, you will need to choose a bottle and a nipple. There are many different kinds available. Try a few different ones until you find out what type works best for your baby.

If you choose formula, you may have try different kinds as well. Some babies are allergic to certain ingredients. Decide whether you want to try the baby on a milk-based, soy-based, or a specialty formula, such as a lactose-free kind.

Now What?

You've read the books and articles by all the experts, made the decision to feed your baby formula, and bought all the tools.

Start with a clean, sterile bottle
Add formula. A newborn may only want ½ to 1 ½ ounces for each feeding. Dump leftover formula or store in refrigerator until the next feeding. An older infant may want 4 ounces or more. For powdered formulas, this equals two scoops.
Add water. It should be lukewarm and chlorine-free.
Screw on the ring with the rubber nipple.
Shake until formula is dissolved. It helps to cover the hole in the nipple to avoid spraying formula all over.
Test the temperature on a sensitive area of your skin. The inside of the wrist is a popular and easy place. Remember that baby is more sensitive to temperature. You don't want to burn a little mouth.

Feeding

You've got the formula ready. Now you have to get the formula into the baby.
Position the baby in a reclined position, supporting the back of the head and neck.
Insert the nipple into the baby's mouth. If the baby's mouth is not open already, try stroking the nipple against his cheek. This activates the rooting reflex, which causes the baby to open his mouth in search of food (Jana & Shu, 2005, pg 17).
Hold the bottle at an angle so that the nipple is completely filled with formula. As the bottle empties, you may find yourself holding the bottle nearly upright. This helps prevent the baby from sucking in too much air as he drinks.

Burping

Some babies suck in a lot of air while they drink, or even while they are crying for food. Burping helps the air come out so it doesn't hurt a tiny stomach.

Position the baby. The traditional position is to hold the baby facing your chest, with his head on your shoulder. You may also choose to place the baby face down on your lap, or sitting upright on your lap. However you choose to hold the baby, be sure to support the head and neck. It's also a good idea to place a burp cloth under the baby's mouth, to catch any spit-up.
Pat or rub the baby's back. This motion should be somewhere between a clap and a gentle touch.
Not all infants need to be burped after every feeding. If yours doesn't burp within the first couple of minutes, don't panic. If he doesn't seem to be in pain, then he may not have swallowed enough air to need to burp.

For More Help

The good news is that caring for an infant becomes easier with experience. Since bottle-fed infants generally eat every three to four hours, you will quickly become an expert. You will be able to grab a clean bottle, measure the formula, add water, put on the top, and shake until the formula dissolves, all while holding a hungry baby in the other arm. You won't have to think about the best way to hold the baby while feeding or burping her.

Remember that every baby is different, with different needs and preferences. Every mother has her own ideas about the best way to care for her child. Be prepared to try different types of formulas, and different nipple/bottle combinations until you find one that works best for your baby.

If you need additional help, there are numerous resources available.

Ask an experienced mom or grandma. Most women love babies, and love to help other women with their babies. If your own mother isn't around to help get you started, ask a neighbor or a friend to help you out until you're more sure of yourself.
Ask your pediatrician. If you're worried about whether you're doing all the right things, your doctor is the perfect expert to consult.
Check out your local library or bookstore. There are many books written by mothers, doctors, and mothers who are themselves doctors. These can help you with many of the day-to-day questions you may have about caring for your infant. However, if you're worried or think there's something wrong, consult your pediatrician.

References

Jana, L., and Shu, J. (2005). Heading home with your newborn: From birth to reality. USA: American Academy of Pediatrics.

Letters: Don't forget to breast-feed. (2010, January 5). The Jakarta Post, pg 8. Retrieved March 1, 2010, from ProQuest Newsstand. (Document ID: 1933431431).

News Release

WATERLESS WASHING MACHINE

Seattle, WA: April 4, 2010 -Xeros, Ltd has created a washing machine that benefits both the environment and the budget. This new technology cleans clothing using nylon beads instead of water, using 90% less water than a traditional washing machine. Bill Westwater, Chief Executive of Xeros, estimates that the polymer cleaning process will save up to 30% of the direct costs of operating a conventional washing machine. Xeros' first project is intended for commercial laundries, and is expected to be completed by the end of next year. The consumer version will follow shortly afterwards.

Cost benefits of the Xeros cleaning process include savings in water, electricity and detergent. The washing machine will use just enough water to dampen the clothing. The polymer beads do the work of removing dirt and stains, and then drain out of the machine, just as water drains from a conventional machine. Less detergent is needed for this process. Shorter washing cycles and the eliminated need to tumble-dry use less electricity. The estimated cost savings will be confirmed once the machine is available for commercial laundries.

The Xeros cleaning system is also better for the environment. Xeros commissioned a study by URS Corp. that estimates up to a 40% reduction of the carbon footprint. This includes recycling the polymer beads rather than discarding them when they are no longer able to clean clothes. Eventually Xeros intends to create a recycling system for the beads which refreshes them and allows them to be reused.

Stephen Burkinshaw, Professor at Leeds University, spent 30 years trying to improve dyeing techniques. Under normal conditions, nylon attracts dirt. However, Professor Burkinshaw discovered that in humid conditions, nylon polymer changes and becomes highly absorbent. Since nylon is extremely resilient, it can also be repeatedly re-used without breaking down. After realizing that dyes are just like stains, he discovered that the process can also be reversed to remove stains.

Safeguard Your Security Deposit: A Guide for Renters

Over twenty years ago, Stuart and Kim M. rented an apartment. When they left after living there for one month, the landlord kept the entire deposit. His reason for keeping it? He claimed that when he moved the stove, he found Cheerios on the floor underneath. Kim, now a professional house cleaner and co-owner of M&R Homecare in Bainbridge Island, Washington, has learned a lot about moving into an apartment.

As any experienced renter can agree, some landlords are a pleasure to rent from. I've rented from some great people. They are easily accessible to report problems, and can be counted on to make repairs promptly. I've also rented from a few landlords who can rarely be bothered to repair anything themselves. One of my previous landlords never even bothered to tell anyone when he was turning off the water to make a repair. I found out when I needed to wash my hands, but had no water. However, even a great landlord can't be expected to remember everything about a rental property. And for the rest, it is even more essential to know your rights as a renter.

By law, tenants must leave the property in the same condition as when they moved into it. Each state's Landlord/Tenant Law may differ slightly, so it is a good idea to look up your rights and responsibilities as a tenant in your state. In Washington state, “under the law, the rental unit must be restored to the same condition as when the tenant moved in, except for normal wear and tear.” Also under this law, landlords must provide a written statement explaining why all or part of the deposit was retained (RCW Chapter 59).

Landlords collect a security deposit in case the renters don't pay their rent, break their lease, or leave a mess behind. Landlords may legitimately keep a portion of the security deposit to cover the cost of any cleaning or repairs necessary before renting the property to a new tenant. Unfortunately, there are also landlords who try not to return any of their tenants' deposits, regardless of the condition of the rental property. In any case, tenants have the burden of proving what condition the rental was in when they moved in.

When you sign the lease, your landlord should give you a checklist to fill out and return to him within a few days. This where you should make notes of anything that is damaged or missing in the rental unit. If your landlord doesn't give you a list, you need to take the initiative to create your own. After all, it's your deposit, and you want to make sure you get back as much as possible. Sign and date it, and give him a copy. It's also a good idea to take pictures, especially if there are any major problems. Use the date stamp on your camera, if you have one. That way, if you do end up in small claims court, you'll have proof. The problem is, what do you look for? Here's what Kim has learned over the years.

Kitchen
Make sure that all the appliances are clean and functional. Lift up the burners to see if the stove is clean underneath. Pull out the bottom drawer of the stove, so you can see if the floor under it is clean. The oven and every burner on the stove should be working. If not, you need to write it on your checklist. This ensures that when you move out, you are not held responsible for the cost of repairing the stove.

Open the cupboards and drawers to make sure they are also functional and clean. Make sure all drawer pulls and door handles are intact, and that the hinges and latches work. Make sure drawers don't stick. Check the faucets to make sure they work, but don't drip.

Bathrooms
Look for mold, mildew, rust and leaks.
Flush the toilet. Make sure it doesn't run.
Check the faucets on both the sink and bathtub to make they work, but do not drip. Look for broken handles.
Check the caulking around the bathtub.
Check the cabinet under the sink. Look for leaky pipes, rotting wood or rusted metal.

Floors, Walls and Ceilings
Look for holes and stains. They don't have to be large or even obvious for your landlord to blame them on you. Even a small hole or minor discoloration needs to be noted on your checklist.
Don't forget to check the baseboards for damage.

Windows
Make sure the windows open, close and lock.
Check the seals around the windows for leaks, mold, or other damage.
If there are blinds, raise and lower them, then open and close them to make sure they are fully functional. Look for cracks, broken slats or missing pieces.
Note the condition of any window screens.

Lights
Try all the lights to make sure they work. Kitchens frequently use fluorescent lights, and a light that doesn't work may be more complicated than changing a bulb. If you have fluorescent lights, ask your landlord who is responsible for replacing them. Many landlords expect to replace these tubes themselves.
Check the light switch covers and electrical outlet covers for missing screws and cracks.

As you go through your checklist, write down everything you find that is missing or in need of repair. Your landlord may give you a strange look when you report that the mini-blind in the living room has a small piece missing. But when you move out, you'll be grateful you didn't have to pay the cost of replacing the whole blind.

Most Forgotten Areas
Blinds
If you dust your blinds at least weekly or bi-weekly, they will be clean when you move out.
Window Tracks
Suck out what you can with the vacuum cleaner attachment. Wrap a damp cloth around a flat-headed screwdriver to clean out the rest.
Baseboards
These gather dust too. Wipe with a damp cloth when you mop the floors, or vacuum with the hose attachment.


References

Attorney General of Washington, Consumer Protection Division. Residential Landlord/Tenant Act (RCW 59.18). Retrieved October 12, 2009 from http://www.wallawalla.org/documents/pdg/landlord_handbook/Landlord-Tenant%20Law.htm.

Homeschool or Traditional School?

Homeschooling is not for everyone. Homeschooling requires a much greater commitment of time, energy, and planning than public school does. Most homeschooling families have one or both parents who either stay home or work from home. Homeschooling can only be a success when the parents are willing to take on the role of teacher, guiding children's learning and checking on them as they go. However, when parents have the time, energy and commitment to devote to their children's education, homeschooled children receive a better education than children in traditional schools.

There are numerous benefits to homeschooling. Perhaps the greatest motivation for homeschooling is that parents have a greater opportunity to pass their own values on to their children, rather than the values of the school teachers and administrators. Many Christian and/or conservative parents are wary of how the curriculum is changing. It wasn't that long ago that evolution was not allowed to be taught, even as a theory. Now evolution is taught as a fact, and no other options are even considered. Sex education frequently safe sex, without a mention of abstinence. Parents don't have the right to opt their children out of certain classes, and in some cases, are not even allowed to know what their children are being taught. For parents who are used to keeping an eye on their children's education, this course of events is a cause of deep concern. Dr. James Dobson, founder of Focus on the Family, stated “In the state of California, if I had a child there, I wouldn't put the youngster in a public school. . . I think it's time to get our kids out.” Other notable Christian leaders, such as Dr. D. James Kennedy of Coral Ridge Ministries and General T. C. Pinckney, Second Vice President of the Southern Baptist Convention, as also expressed concern that “public schools are too dangerous for Christians” (“Dr. Dobson Tells,” 2002). How can it be right to claim that parents are capable of guiding their own children only when the parents' beliefs coincide with those of the teachers?

Another advantage of homeschooling is that the closer interaction with children allows parents to be more aware of a child's bad actions and bad attitudes. This allows the parent to deal with a problem immediately, rather than waiting until the bad actions become habits, or the bad attitude becomes worse. Debra Bell (2001) calls this “Character First.” She states that “closely tied to passing on our faith is our responsibility as parents to shape our children's character” (p. 17). Honesty, integrity, kindness to others, a love of learning, a strong work ethic are all character traits that most parents would love to foster in their children. However when children spend the majority of their waking hours away from their parents almost from the moment of their birth, how can parents instill their own values and beliefs in these impressionable young minds? A study of the freshman class of a private interdenominational Christian college revealed that students who had been homeschooled had a stronger sense of communal potential, institutional integrety, and a greater commitment to higher education than their traditionally schooled classmates. As a result of institutional commitment, homeschooled students had a higher rate of persisting into their sophomore year (Saunders, 2009). Bell (2001) sets four goals for her children's education. She wants her children to love learning, have a marketable set of skills, understand and practice the Christian faith, and share their faith with the world in a way that is culturally relevant and persuasive (p. 11).

Children benefit from having a curriculum that is tailored to their needs, interests and abilities. In a traditional school setting, this would be far too expensive and time-consuming. In a homeschool setting, a tailor-made education allows children to study things they are interested in while they are motivated to learn about them. For example, a young boy who is interested in rocks can learn about geology in a variety of fun and interesting ways, rather than waiting until that class is scheduled. By the time a child in a traditional school gets around to geology, his interest may have changed to airplanes or astronomy.

Homeschooling allows flexibility and choice for both parents and children. Field trips are rare in a public school, due to lack of funds, and the difficulties of scheduling transportation, finding chaperones, and keeping track of so many children. One field trip per year is a lot to manage, because it's such a nightmare to arrange and execute. Because homeschooled students are fewer in number, and are home all day, they can go on more field trips. They can visit battlefields, museums, parks and aquariums, theater productions and butterfly gardens. Bryan Crosby(2008) advocates more field trips in public schools. He says that field trips “broaden a child's knowledge,” and are fun, positive, memorable experiences for kids (p. 136). Because they can go places during the school day, the kids don't have to wait in line. They also receive more attention from adults, which can mean acquiring more information.

Fiona Moon Pearl (2009) is a twelve year old girl who is being homeschooled. Her family uses an eclectic, wide-ranging style of education. Fiona gets to choose her math and vocabulary books with her mother. When she wanted to learn French, they bought a French book that she reads every day. Fiona says, “I really enjoy being homeschooled this way, because I get to school some of what I learn and do – and my parents also choose and guide my learning.” She added that it's “amazing to have my parents be my lifelong teachers! It feels really good to know that they support and encourage me to grow so much” (p. 16).

Children with special needs require more attention and a more individualized course of study. Lynette Criddle felt that her dyslexic daughter desperately needed one-on-one help. Criddle said, “after testing, we didn't want to put her in a place where she was going to fail, or always need special help” (Koemer, 2009, p. BN1).

Traditional schools are designed to fit the average child. It would be ridiculous to do otherwise, when a teacher has anywhere from 20 to 40 students per class. Students who fit into the “normal” category may do quite well in a traditional school environment. Students who require extra help or an alternative method of learning have special education classes. They get the extra help they need, but they are also labeled as “Special Ed” or sometimes as “retarded” by unsympathetic classmates. Such labels can damage a child's sense of self-worth, and convince him that he is stupid or incapable of learning. In fact, the opposite may be true. Children with “learning disabilities” are frequently very bright children who only need the right teacher and the right type of learning in order to succeed. How sad it is that five and six year olds are already convinced of their own limitations at an age when they should be eager and excited about all the world has to offer them. The other group of students who “don't fit” are the gifted ones, the students who catch on the first time, do their work, and spend half the class being bored. As an elementary school student, the only provision made for “gifted” students in my school was a special reading class. What about students who are gifted in math or science? They also need to be challenged in those areas. In many schools, particularly smaller ones, Gifted and Talented classes are just an excuse for students to socialize instead of being in their regular class. Clearly schools recognize the need to help these exceptional students, but don't know how to challenge them.

Homeschooling also allows parents to focus on specific areas of study, such as music. Because homeschooling is more efficient, schoolwork can be finished in a shorter amount of time. According to Bell (2009), 30 minutes per day is sufficient to cover the basics of kindergarten learning. As the children get older, the amount of time needed for learning goes from 1 to 2 hours per day for first through third grades, up to three to four hours for grades four and five. After that, lessons and activities may take a longer time, more consistent with a typical school schedule. But she says, if parents have properly taught their children to take iniative, the kids will be doing much of their work at this level without requiring much oversight (p. 42). Compared to the number of hours most children spend in school, added to the number of additional hours spent doing homework, it becomes clear that a tailored education is more efficient. Students who want to spend time on large projects or practicing music or sports have the time to do so.

Academic excellence is a lesser concern of homeschooling parents, but seems to be a natural result of homeschooling. A recent study of homeschooling found that homeschooled students, on average, perform exceptionally high compared to public school students. On average, homeschoolers scored 37% higher than public school students on standardized achievement tests (Anonymous, 2009).

Of course, homeschooling, like anything else, is a trade-off. It comes with its own set of challenges and limitations. The biggest challenge to parents is one of time. Homeschooling simply requires more time, commitment, planning and patience than sending a child off to school for five days every week. Parents who can't stay home to oversee their children's education are better off sending children to a traditional school. Most homeschooling families have one or both parents who either stay home with the children, or work from home. It takes time to get through the lessons, particularly with younger students who need more guidance. In addition, parents also need to spend time preparing and planning lessons, just as traditional teachers do. Homeschooling requires parents to give up some of their personal time so they can devote that time to their children's education. Still, most homeschooling parents seem to feel that is an acceptable sacrifice. Susan Mills homeschooled all four of her children. She said, “I loved being home with my kids, and have a wonderful husband who always seems to know the time I need a little getaway” (Koemer, 2009).

Parents need to be self-motivated and provide daily accountability, direction and tutoring. Homeschooled students can learn self-motivation and self-discipline from their parents. But if the parents don't possess these qualities, they won't be able to teach them to their children. It would be unreasonable to expect to hand a six year old child several assignments, then leave him on his own to complete them. Just as young children need a teacher in a traditional school, so they also need a dedicated, motivated teacher to learn at home.

Learning is limited by the teacher's abilities. In a traditional high school, the teachers specialize in certain classes. However, what most parents don't realize is that frequently these teachers are teaching whichever classes need a teacher. They don't necessarily correlate to the teacher's own specialized area of study. But because the teacher routinely teaches these same subjects, they become more familiar with the curriculum. I suggest that parents can do the same thing. The benefit to the teachers is that someone else has determined a curriculum for them to follow. The parents must decide on their own curriculum. But having chosen the curriculum, they can study it themselves so they know how to teach it to their students. Homeschooling groups sometimes have shared classes. This allows children to benefit from the knowledge of another parent besides their own, while still giving parents some say over what their children are being taught.

My mother unsuccessfully attempted to homeschool three of my brothers. Unfortunately, her mild-mannered personality, combined with a lack of planning and failure to properly oversee their studies, quickly led her to conclude that they were better off in a normal school environment. My aunt, who has a much more forceful personality, homeschooled her kids until they decided to attend high school so they could participate in organized sports activities. Socialization is one of the greatest concerns parents have about homeschooling children. Ironically, my cousins, who were homeschooled, were much better socialized than my brothers, who attended public school for most of their education. Susan Mills also disagrees that home-schooled children lack social skills. “I find that idea comical because our kids are probably overly social,” she said (Koemer, 2009, p. BN1). Homeschooled kids have plenty of opportunity to socialize with their peers, unless they live in a completely isolated area. Homeschooling groups offer opportunities for shared classes, group trips, and even some organized sports teams. Children can socialize with their homeschooled peers through these events, and with their other friends after school. After all, there's really little time for socializing during class. Most socializing takes place during lunch and recess, or after school.

Healthy family relationships are essential to successful homeschooling. Both parents need to have a common vision and goals. For this reason, Bell recommends setting family goals before parents start homeschooling (2001, p. 55). Parents need to be able to resolve conflicts quickly. Attitude matters. The parent who is teaching needs to enjoy it, and the non-teaching parent needs to be supportive. They need to work together, and the kids need to have a strong relationship with the parents.

The decision to homeschool a child is a big one, with many things to consider. Time, the teaching parent(s) abilities, students' learning styles and availability of learning opportunities and materials are all factors in this decision. But parents who have decided to take that step have found that the rewards are amazing and worthwhile. The children perform better academically, have stronger values and a greater sense of self-worth, love to learn and have strong family relationships. They are better prepared for college, more self-disciplined, and better prepared for adulthood. While homeschooling doesn't meet the needs of every family, most home-schooled students end up with a better education than they could have received from a traditional school.

References
Anonymous (2009, August 12). Homeschooling a success story. Herald Sun with Chapel Hill Herald, p. Ch2. Retrieved November 13, 2009, from ProQuest Database.

Bell, D. (2001). The ultimate guide to homeschooling. Nashville, TN: Tommy Nelson.

Crosby, B. (2008). Smart kids, bad schools: 38 ways to save America's future. New York: St. Martin's Press.

Dr. Dobson tells Christians to get kids out of California public schools. (2002). The School Liberator. Retrieved November 13, 2009 from http://www.home-school.com.

Koemer, M. (2009, November 5). Home-schooling meets special needs. San Antonio Express-News p. BN1. Retrieved November 13, 2009, from ProQuest database.
Moon, F. M. (2009). Living room school: The real deal on homeschooling! New Moon Girls, 17(1), 16-18. Retrieved November 13, 2009, from ProQuest database.

Saunders, M. K. (2009/2010). Previously homeschooled college freshmen: Their first year experiences and persistence rates. Journal of College Student Retention, 11(1), 77-101. Abstract retrieved November 13, 2009, from ProQuest database.

It Only Takes a Moment: Evaluation Essay

Sad and lonely in a city of garbage, a lone, battered robot goes about his duties of compressing garbage. His sole companions are a cockroach and a pathetic seedling growing in a discarded boot. All the humans have left for the luxuries of a robot-run spaceship until the day when life can be found on Earth once again. The bleakness of the landscape created from cubes of compressed garbage provides a sad contrast to the soundtrack from “Hello, Dolly.” Like most science fiction, the animated film Wall-E is a warning about how bad our future could be if we continue on our current path.

Wall-E, abandoned on Earth by the humans for 700 years, displays human-like personality traits. He collects various discarded items that interest him, and he watches a salvaged videotape of “Hello, Dolly” over and over on a rescued VCR. He only finds the love and companionship he longs for when a probe robot arrives on Earth to search for signs of life. Eve, the new robot, also displays human-like traits, such as a glorious aeronautical display when the ship leaves, as if to celebrate her freedom. At times, she is clearly put out with Wall-E, and later in the movie, she displays concern for Wall-E. Most of the robots in the film act like robots, computer-driven creations incapable of feeling or reasoning, beyond what they are programmed to do. This movie, like most, requires the willing suspension of disbelief. A few of the robots are clearly capable of human-like thoughts and feelings, while others do nothing but what they are programmed to do. If you can get past that minor discrepancy, the movie is a fun, entertaining film with some great messages.

The humans in the film, through reliance on robots and computers, grow lazy, fat, unobservant, and incapable of thinking or caring for themselves. This is a warning about the danger of relying too much on modern conveniences. Yet when the autopilot tries to take over and prevent the ship from returning to Earth, as it was programmed to do, the human captain must make a decision about which set of orders to follow. He and a few of the passengers have to exert their long-unused willpower and weakened physical strength in order to act. Their actions demonstrate one of the advantages of the human mind over the computer; namely that computers can only follow orders, while humans can make the decision not to follow orders. Computers can follow logical processes, but are incapable of making moral judgments and determining right and wrong, as humans do.

Modern conveniences can be amazing time-savers, freeing us up to do more important tasks. The problem is that we get so used to using them that we eventually forget how to do without them. I have had roommates who, when the dishwasher broke, could not seem to do the dishes until the machine was repaired. When the television remote control is lost, we frequently spend much more time and energy searching for it than it would take to simply stand up and change the channel. People forget how to cook without a microwave, or how to use a manual can opener. I had a neighbor once who apparently could not bake cookies for her husband without an electric mixer. In Wall-E, the humans used computerized chairs to get around, until they were no longer able to walk on their own. They sipped away at liquid foods, while trundling around in their hover chairs, and I can only imagine that they would have also had trouble chewing.

Wall-E also warns of the danger of not taking care of the planet. In the film, the Earth had become so covered with garbage that nothing could grow. Wall-E was the last of the solar-powered, garbage-compacting robots. There was so much garbage that he was constructing skyscrapers from it. The human race had become so obsessed with buying new stuff and discarding the old, that they destroyed their own home and themselves. I believe the writers of Wall-E were suggesting that we could do the same, if we continue our consumeristic, environmentally-apathetic attitudes.

At the same time, there is also a message of hope. The captain, once he wakes up from his stupor of letting the computer think for him, is able to take charge again. A few of the passengers do the same, in an attempt to help Wall-E, and to rescue the babies from being dumped out and crushed. After 700 years, Wall-E is still able to find growing, living things on the planet. I believe this is a message not to give up, that it is never too late to make a difference.

We all need to be taken care of: people, plants, computers, and the Earth alike. Computers need regular maintenance. People have both physical and emotional needs that need to be met. “Things” aren't enough to combat loneliness. For that, we need companionship from living, breathing organisms, even if all we have is a cockroach and a plant. We need to remember that the planet also needs us to take care of it. It only takes a moment to do something that makes a difference, because all those little moments add up into a lifetime.

From Vietnam to the United States: An Cross-cultural View

Seven months ago, Kea and Hanni Le moved Vietnam to Kitsap County, Washington to attend school. Kea is studying business at the community college, and Hanni is a sophomore in high school. Both sisters were in for quite a culture shock when they reached the Unites States, as American culture differs greatly from Vietnamese culture. There are many differences, from the food we eat, and the way we write the date, to how we accept compliments (Sabath, 2002, pp. 200-211).

Although the sisters arrived in June, Kea's first impression of Washington was how cold it was. According to the CIA's online World Factbook, Vietnam is a tropical area in the south, with higher temperatures year round. In the north, it is monsoonal, with a hot, rainy season and a warm, dry season (2010). The Le sisters are used to temperature ranging from 70 degrees in the winter, to 90 to 100 degrees in summer. Kea was also surprised that the summer days are so long, while winter days are so short. Vietnam, being closer to the equator, has more uniform days all year.

Kea and Hanni lived in a big city in Vietnam, so found it quieter and smaller when they arrived in this area. Kea said it was nice to be in a smaller area. The first place they lived when they arrived here has a ferry across the Puget Sound. Kea said she was surprised the first morning to hear the boat.

The United States relies heavily on personal automobiles for transportation. This is especially true in the Pacific Northwest, outside of large cities. Mass transit is particularly inconvenient for most people, and the proliferation of rainy and cold weather makes open vehicles impractical. In Vietnam, on the other hand, there are some cars, but most people prefer motorcycles. The roads are smaller there. One has to wonder if the smaller roads are a cause or an effect of the preference for smaller vehicles.

Education in Vietnam has both similarities and differences from the US. Education is mandatory only through elementary school, and is not free except for low-income families. While education beyond elementary school is optional, it is also expected. Failure to pass the university entrance exam is an embarrassment to the family. Those who fail to get into college are expected to stay home and study for another year to get into college the following year. American students would undoubtedly be shocked to learn that Vietnamese students spend most of the day studying. As Kea put it, students study “from morning until the night.” Hanni said that high school doesn't have elective courses as they do here. Rather, the classes are all chosen for them.

Asian countries in general have the reputation for being extremely polite and respectful, particularly towards older people. Vietnam is no exception. Children are expected to treat adults, particularly parents and teachers, with respect. Generosity, gentleness and hard work are valued (CultureGrams, 2010). As I spoke to Kea, I could see these values reflected in her eagerness to help me, as I explained that I needed to interview her for a homework assignment.

The student-teacher relationship is much different in the United States. In Vietnam, the teacher talks and the students listen. There are no discussions as there are in our classes. American teenagers are notorious for talking back to and ignoring adults to whom they don't wish to listen. Hanni said it is hard for her to see how disrespectful Americans are to their teachers. I would imagine that she is placed in a difficult position. Her own culture demands respect for others. It is surely frustrating to watch teenagers treat adults with disrespect and indifference, and not feel able to say anything about it, because that would be impolite.

Frank Wu, law professor at Howard University, spoke about racial stereotypes. As a Chinese-American, he had to learn to balance his Chinese background and values with his American lifestyle. He said that “Asians are seen as nerds and geeks as well as submissive people who know their place” (Fischer, 2004). It is easy to see understand how this stereotype came into existence when we examine the cultural values of Asian countries. As Kea and Hanni explained, Vietnamese students are expected to study much of the day. Education and academic excellence are highly valued, even expected. To fail is a family disgrace. Politeness and respect are instilled in children from a young age. No wonder then, that Asian students tend to study hard and be polite, even submissive. When we compare these traits to American students, with their often lackadaisical attitude toward homework and refusal to give respect until they feel it is earned, we can see an enormous gap between the two groups. It would be incorrect to assume, however, that all Asian students, particularly those who were born and raised in this country, fit into this stereotype.

Vietnamese is the native language in Vietnam, but students are expected to study English or another language in school. After English, French is the most popular, followed by Russian. According to linguistic determinism, we live “only in that part of the world that our language permits us to know” (Jandt, 2009, pg. 131). The popularity of English as a second language would seem to support that theory. Kea said that learning English allows them to communicate with more people outside of their own country. French and Russian are more popular among older adults, according to the CultureGrams article, due to the French influence as well as the likelihood of working in Russia or other Communist countries (2010).

Like French, Vietnamese places the adjective after the noun instead of before as we do in English. Both sisters agreed that syntax was one of the biggest differences between the two languages. I noticed while speaking with the Le sisters that although they have a fairly strong grasp of the English language, they mispronounced some words. When I would say the word I thought they meant, they would usually agree with me. So although inflection does not change meanings, as it does in Chinese, clearly individual letter sounds are pronounced differently. Kea had to write her name out for me, because the way she pronounces it, there is a slight break between the two sounds.

I met Kea and Hanni at church. Like most Vietnamese, they did not practice any particular religion before they arrived here, but converted to Christianity during their stay. The particular church I attend is especially close-knit and supportive. So although religion was probably strange to them, the church group has hopefully substituted a little for the family support they left behind.

It has been interesting for me to get to know the Le sisters. From what I've observed, they fit in with the stereotypical Asian, being polite, studious and soft-spoken. But they also came here, on their own except for each other, to further their educations. They were the first in their families to embrace a new religion. In many ways, they are modern pioneers, braving the unknown in search of knowledge and more fulfilling lives.

References

Central Intelligence Agency. (2010, January 26). The World factbook. Retrieved February 7, 2010 from https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/geos/vm.html.

CultureGrams. (2010). Socialist Republic of Vietnam. Retrieved February 8, 2010 from http://krlrpa.krl.org:2052/secure/world/openpdf.php?filename=Vietnam

Fischer, A., (2004, May/June). With a foot in each culture; Howard university law professor fights racial stereotypes. Retrieved January 14, 2010 from http://www.loc.gov/loc/lcib/0405-6/asian.html

Jandt, F. (2009). An introduction to intercultural communication: Identities in a global community (6th ed). Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage Publications.

Sabath, A. M., (2002). International business etiquette: Asia & the Pacific Rim. Lincoln, NE: Asja Press.

Conflict Management

Conflict is a normal, every-day part of life. Everyone experiences conflict, no matter how much we might try to avoid it. Rather than viewing conflict as a necessarily negative situation, we should learn how to manage and resolve conflict.

Effective conflict management must begin with a conflict. The first step, then, is to identify the conflict. While doing this, it is also important to remember that conflict can be a useful tool to help us grow. In identifying the conflict, we can determine what type of conflict it is. The S-TLC method can help us, as we stop, think, listen and communicate (Cahn & Abigail, 2007, pg. 41).

Young children are frequently given time-outs as a disciplinary measure. Parents understand the need to take their own time-outs, so they can calm down before dealing with rowdy children. In a conflict situation, it is important to remember to stop and make certain we are calm before we engage in conflict resolution. This step is helpful because it allows us to respond in a thoughtful, logical way, instead of reacting instinctively.

We also need to think about the conflict situation. We should consider the type of situation, whether it is a real or unreal conflict. Once we stop and think about what we're really angry about, sometimes we realize that the conflict is unreal, and simply a matter of miscommunication. In that case, asking the other person for clarification can resolve the problem before the relationship is damaged.

Upon reflection, we may also realize that the thing we're fighting about isn't really the problem. I might yell at a roommate for leaving dishes in the sink, when what I'm really concerned with is the fact that she's using my comb and dental floss without asking first. In this case, the real conflict is that I feel like she doesn't respect my privacy, not that she didn't wash her dishes. I need to explain to her that it bothers me when she takes my things without asking, and ask her not to do it again. If she is used to living with family members or friends who share those things, it may not have occurred to her that she needs to ask first. Thinking about the conflict allows me to express the real problem, so that we can solve it.

I also need to consider what options I have. I could try to change my roommate's behavior, change the situation, or change my own reaction. I could explain that I feel as though my privacy has been violated, and ask her not to take anything of mine. I could offer to take her to the store to buy her own comb and dental floss, or I could decide that it doesn't matter if she uses mine. I could also decide not to live with her anymore, although it seems a little extreme to make such a decision before trying to first resolve the problem. I would need to weigh the likely consequences of each of these choices, and decide which one would be most likely to achieve the most desirable outcome.

I also need to think about the outcome I desire, and choose a strategy that best supports that outcome. Collaboration is usually helpful, although sometimes another strategy may work better. Some conflicts are better to avoid, although avoiding every conflict will undoubtedly cause more problems sooner or later.

Once I am calm, and clear in my own mind about the problem, I need to listen to my roommate. Patience, empathy, and being non-judgmental will help. I need to be willing to see her point of view, and listen to everything she has to say. Then the two of us can communicate about the problem, and find a solution that meets both of our needs.

We may need to be creative about possible solutions. Brainstorming is one way to think of more options. We may also want to negotiate, each giving up something that's less important to us, in order to gain something that is a high-priority.

Another important part of managing conflict is choosing the right time and place to engage in the conflict. According to Freud's Psycho-dynamic Theory, “people experience conflict because of their intrapersonal states” (Cahn & Abigail, 2007, pg. 135). Confronting someone in a place or at a time when he or she is under stress may aggravate the very problem we want to resolve. It's important to wait until all parties are calm and relaxed. Someone who feels secure in his or her surroundings is less likely to feel attacked and become defensive, which can cloud the issue.

Communication is necessary in the last three phases of the phase theory. The initiation phase begins with at least one individual confronting the other about the problem. Communication continues as both parties respond to each other. Each can present his or her point of view, which allows both of them to understand what the other one wants from the situation. This phase may be very stressful, possibly even requiring a third party to step in and mediate. Finally, both parties agree to some solution in the resolution phase. Strong communication skills will help both sides to achieve a satisfactory outcome, and strengthen the relationship.

I-statements can be a useful tool in resolving conflict. I-statements allow people to communicate their feelings without putting the other person on the defensive. They require each person to admit some responsibility for creating and solving the problem, rather than blaming outside circumstances or another person. Negotiation and mediation may also help with conflict resolution, by helping the participants to consider alternative options.

Conflict resolution is an important skill to learn for anyone. There are many methods and theories that can help us understand and manage conflict. Among these are the S-TLC method, Post-Dynamic Stress Theory, and the Process view of conflict resolution. If we learn to understand how and why people communicate the way we do, we can use that knowledge to resolve our interpersonal conflicts while keeping healthy relationships.

References

Cahn, D., and Abigail, R. (2007). Managing conflict through communication. Boston: Pearson Education.

Case Study: You are a department manager in a mid-sized company that provides technology support services. You have ten employees who are required to maintain a high level of technical expertise and deliver excellent customer service. One of your employees, who has been with the company for two years, is performing at a substandard level and you have received numerous complaints from customers and coworkers. In addition, this employee has displayed confrontational behavior which has created a hostile environment. You must now meet with this employee and deliver an ultimatum regarding the need for immediate improvement or dismissal.

As a manager, I am responsible for making certain that my employees have the knowledge and skills they need to do their jobs. The first thing I would do in this situation would be to acquire more information. For example, the gender and age of the employee both have an impact on how I would need to approach the employee. As a woman, I am already at a disadvantage when dealing with a man. Assuming that the goal is to retain the employee, I need to achieve a delicate balance between authority and niceness. If the employee is a woman, I can show more authority without being threatening. Due to stereotyping, women are expected to be warmer and less direct than men. Ridgeway's research shows that men “are much more inclined to resist women's influence than men's. Moreover, men also particularly resist the influence of competent women” (Seiter, 2004, pg. 139). The age also matters, because people are more likely to resist the authority of a manager who is more than a few years younger.

I would also need to know if this employee's performance has been consistently substandard, or if this is a recent occurrence. If recent, this could indicate some outside problem, which the employee might be able to deal with, if given the right support and assistance. If the employee has never performed satisfactorily, then it is also time to review my departments' evaluation process. Consistent poor performance and multiple complaints should have been dealt with long before two years passed. Either situation would affect how I handle the current problem.

When delivering significant bad news, an indirect approach is usually best. The indirect approach “softens your audience's resistance, arouses their interest, and increases their tendency to see you as fair-minded” (Roebuck, 2006, pg. 88). If I were to walk in, slap a folder down on the desk, and tell the employee that his performance is unacceptable, I would be setting myself up as an enemy from the beginning. My opening words would likely evoke hostility at worst, and indifference at best. Anything that I had to say after that would be irrelevant, because he would now believe that I was “out to get him.” I would use a collaborative strategy, which is both proactive and flexible.

After gathering all the necessary information, I would ask the employee to come into my office or some other private place, to avoid embarrassing him in front of others. I would tell him that I valued his contribution to our department, but that I had some concerns. I would sit down with him and ask him how he felt about his job and his work performance. Then I would listen to what he had to say, and see if there was an obvious problem that needed to be solved, other than a bad attitude. It's entirely possible that this employee is in the wrong department or the wrong job. If that turned out to be the case, I would encourage him to find something that better fit his needs, and offer my support.

I would give the employee a written copy of the company's expectations for its employees, and go over them with him. I would then show him where and how his job performance fell short of our expectations, using a written evaluation. I would focus first on his technical abilities, and then on his customer service skills. To keep the evaluation positive, I would emphasize the areas where he can improve, as opposed to focusing on his failures. I would set some goals with him, with definite steps to take, and arrange to meet again in a few weeks to discuss his progress. I would also try to find out if he had the necessary skills and knowledge, or if we needed to educate him further in these areas. If necessary, I would assign him to take additional training to give him the skills he lacked.

Then I would address the confrontational behavior. I would ask him what happened and listen to his point of view. I would try to keep an open mind, because it's also possible that he was reacting to an already hostile situation. This employee clearly doesn't feel like part of the team, so I would look for ways to rectify that problem. I would also make sure he understands how his behavior affects the other members of the department, and that his recent behavior will no longer be tolerated.

The last part of using an indirect approach to delivering bad news to end on a positive note. Anyone who was confronted with three different serious problems would be understandably upset. If the employee managed to keep his job for two years, however, he must be doing something right. I would end the interview by pointing out his strengths, which is why we wanted to keep him on our team. I would encourage him to work on his goals, and let him know that I believed in his ability to accomplish them. Then I would make sure I followed up with him as promised, and continued to work with him to bring him up to the required standard.

References

Roebuck, D., (2006). Improving Business Communications. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Prentice Hall.

Seiter, J. & Gass, R., (2004). Perspectives on persuasion, social influence, and compliance gaining. Boston: Allyn & Bacon.

Planning Proposal: Email Communications

Introduction

Ashford University's internet-based educational environment appeals to working adults who need to balance education with supporting themselves and their families. Ashford has promised to provide accessible, affordable and high-quality degree programs that will enable us to improve our careers. Unfortunately, the advisors are not always quite so accessible. Since many of us work during the same hours as the advisors, we are not always free to contact them when they are available. Ashford University can better meet the needs of its working students by implementing a policy that allows us to indicate a preference for email or telephone communication.

Statement of Problem

On the occasions when I have tried to reach an advisor by phone, I usually have to leave a voice mail message, and wait for a return call. Even though calls are generally returned within a reasonable amount of time, I am not necessarily available by the time the call is returned. Many adult students work during the day, frequently in jobs where personal phone calls are discouraged during the working day. Due to my work schedule, and the need to budget cell phone minutes, I use email frequently to communicate. Unfortunately, when I email my Ashford University advisors, I rarely receive any kind of response. When I do receive a reply, it is a generic request to call if I need assistance. While the classes work reasonably well with my work schedule, I don't feel that I am receiving adequate support from my advisors.

Proposed Solution

Students should be given the option to identify a preference for communications. Advisors should be instructed to communicate with students by email, when the student indicates that preference. Advisors should not automatically assume that the students will be able to call when they need assistance.

It's true that a phone conversation is more efficient than an email exchange in dealing with complex matters. It can be difficult to give advice without asking additional questions. Complex issues are more quickly and easily dealt with over the phone, because of the immediate response. But students with a busy schedule may need to wait several days before they have time to speak to an advisor. For these students, an emailed query may bring a faster response. Using email instead of phones takes no more time from a busy work day, and costs less than a long-distance phone call.

Students may also feel more comfortable communicating via email. Many of the people who are drawn to an on-line education are introverts, who enjoy working on their own. “Introverts like e-learning more than extroverts as there is less face-to-face interaction with people” (Naish, 2009, pg. 8). For these students, email is a more comfortable way to communicate, precisely because it lacks the intimacy of a phone conversation. According to Laurie Pawlick-Keinlan, “introverts may prefer written communication because it’s less stimulating” (2007).

Conclusion

The world is full of people, each with a differing personality. What works for one person may not work well for another. While extroverts likely prefer to interact face-to-face or over the phone, introverts sometimes feel threatened by such personal interaction. One college student is so introverted that he refuses to make a phone call, and rarely answers the phone unless he knows who's calling. Not all introverts are so extreme, certainly. But we each benefit from having choices. So please give us the choice about how to communicate with our advisors.

References

Naish, R.. (2009, May). It takes all sorts. E.learning Age, 8-9. Retrieved March 15, 2010, from ABI/INFORM Global. (Document ID: 1737418091).

Pawlik-Kienlen, L. (2007). How introverts communicate; 10 tips on talking to people with introverted personality traits. Retrieved March 15, 2010 from http://behavioural- psychology.suite101.com/article.cfm/how_introverts_communicate.

Media Technology

Modern technology is a wonderful thing. How else could we lead these crazy, busy lives? We can accomplish so much, or so little. It's our choice! Whether we are going to school, getting some work done, or avoiding it by surfing the 'net, these are some of the communication technologies which help us.

Television

Television allows companies to advertise and reach thousands of potential customers. With On Demand, companies can even advertise job openings to potential employees. Television has even been used for educational purposes. Because of the ability to reach so many, television is intended for everyone within the reach of the television network. Specific audiences are further refined by choosing the channel and the time to air commercials.

As with all forms of communication, identifying and understanding the audience is an important step toward effective communication. “Today, the typical home has multiple television sets and well over 100 channels from which to choose” (http://en-us.nielsen.com). The Nielsen Company's ratings are based on how many people watch each show. It also measures how people use information on television, mobile devices and computers. The information is used to segment and target audiences, so that businesses know the best way to reach the audience they want.

Aside from entertainment, television's strongest advantage is in its marketing power. A study conducted in 2008 showed that 80.9 percent of Americans watched television, with 3.43 hours being the average time spent for those who did watch television (BLS, Table 1). Most shows stop for commercial breaks at least every fifteen minutes, which adds up to quite a bit of advertising in those 3.43 hours.

In 2009, I became a tax preparer for a tax services company, which was opening a new office in my city. Most of our few customers came in because they saw our storefront signs. A few were prior customers from a different area. This year, the company ran a national television and radio campaign. We saw many more new customers, many of whom said they came in because they saw our ad on television. Clearly, a well-planned television campaign can be worth the cost.

Social Networking

Websites like Twitter and Facebook use shortened versions of blogs to help people stay in touch. Since people can access the websites from cell phones, someone driving across country can rapidly post updates to let contacts follow their progress across the country. Most social networking sites are directed at people we already know, although users can also follow celebrities and companies. According to a recent article in T+D, “66 percent of all government agencies currently use some form of social networking— from blogs and wikis to instantmessaging and discussion boards to LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter” (Smith, 2010).

As any business person knows, networking is always a good idea. Someone who is looking for a job needs to use every available contact to find leads. Employers are more likely to hire someone with a recommendation from someone the boss trusts. Business owners are constantly needing to market their company. Social networking sites can help with all these needs, in addition to letting people keep friends and family updated on their personal lives. I interact with friends far more often on Facebook than I do in person. I have Facebook friends from all over: high school in Maine, my first duty station in Okinawa, and even a couple of friends I met online.

It's important to remember, however, that anything on the internet is no longer entirely private. No matter how careful we are, there is always the possibility that an employer, prospective client, or total stranger may stumble across something we didn't mean for them to see. Therefore, even on sites such as Facebook, where we only intend to share pictures and thoughts with friends, we need to be careful about what we say and how we say it. Having Facebook friends I've never actually met, and ones I haven't seen in years reminds me that I need to be careful not to give out too much personal information. We also need to be cautious not to say the wrong thing too quickly. One of my cousins inadvertently caused offense by posting a comment about my grandmother's death before two of our other cousins found out she had died. At the same time, knowing what's happening in my friends' lives helps me to feel connected. There's almost always someone online when I need to talk, and I don't have to worry about waking someone up in the middle of the night.

Smartphones/Cell phones

Cell phones make it possible for us to make and receive phone calls at any time, or any place where we have a signal. Blackberry devices make it possible for us to receive email as well. Smartphones allow users to make and receive phone calls and email, text messages, access the internet, take pictures, keep track of lists and calendars and listen to music. So you could take a picture, upload it to your Facebook page, and type in a message updating your friends, employees or customers to a new product or procedure. Again, the audience is a fairly large one, although it is limited slightly by the financial cost of purchasing and using the phone.

It's getting difficult to find people in this country over the age of twelve who don't have a cell phone, at least for emergencies. With so many different choices available, including prepaid phones, it's easier to get a cell phone than to get by without one. Many people are forgoing the home phone in favor of cell phones. One of my former employers had no home phone service. They had a family plan, with a cell phone for the dad, one for the mom, and one for the house. Eventually the eleven-year-old daughter was also added to the plan.

The portability of cell phones, combined with the near-disappearance of dial-up internet, is probably the biggest factor in the switch to cell phones. Why pay for a phone that stays home, unless it's part of a money-saving communication package? Communication companies like Comcast would probably have far fewer telephone subscribers if they didn't bundle cable, internet and phone service. At one time, I tried out different combinations of phone and internet service. I eventually went back to the cell phone only plan, because it's cheaper and easier overall. In the last few years, I've had jobs that would have been extremely difficult without a cell phone, including my current job. As a manager, it's simply impossible to get away for a day with any peace of mind without knowing that you'll be able to receive the call if there's an emergency.

Internet

Internet is probably the best known, and most used technology. It allows companies to conduct business from offices located far apart, sharing the same information and having access to instant communication. It's used for nearly everything, from business to communication, from job-hunting to shopping. The audience for the internet has become everyone who is able to use a computer. From toddlers to octogenarians, from American business people to students in Morocco, the internet connects us to more information and more people than ever before.

The internet would be useless without a computer or some type of hand-held device, of course. With Wi-Fi and wireless broadband, even the internet is portable. Thanks to this technology, I was able to take my laptop, with wireless broadband, on a cross-country trip and not miss a homework assignment. Nearly to our destination, my brother and I realized that we didn't know exactly how to get to our uncle's house. I pulled out the laptop and typed the address into Google Maps. I was able to get directions, and I could even see my uncle's old Dodge van in front of his house, so I knew I had the right address.

Internet technology makes it possible for us to attend school from remote locations, check our email from almost anywhere, and do business from home, work, or the park. My company relies almost entirely on the internet. Customer information and tax returns are all stored on a central server, so they may be accessed from any location. Before starting a new return, the computer program checks the name and social security number against the database, to avoid duplicate returns. Our phones even use the internet. We had a kiosk inside Wal~mart this year, so we had to use a wireless internet connection, instead of the high-speed internet of the regular offices. When we had no internet access, we couldn't even check our appointments, much less prepare tax returns. On the other hand, relying so heavily on the internet allows us to accomplish things we couldn't otherwise. For example, I have needed to print prior year tax returns for customers who had them prepared in a different state. If a tax preparer in one office needs help, someone with more experience can access that return and check it for problems. Thanks to internet technology, businesses can connect offices all over the world.

Bureau of Labor Statistics (2008). American time-use survey. Retrieved June 7, 2010 from http://www.bls.gov/tus/tables/a1_2008.pdf.

Smith, D. (2010). Connecting Government to Improve It. T+D, 64(4), 24. Retrieved from Academic Search Premier database.